This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
