Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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