my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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