would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
