just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
