Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have aggressive nipples.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
