I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
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This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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