I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
