just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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