it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
