I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
