He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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