if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
