You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
