I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
