Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
