Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
how drunk are you?
Several
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
