every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
