I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
