so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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