oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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