I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
