Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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