i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
