Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize