We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
NoShamevember. You game?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
