I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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