i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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