i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You made out with two different species that night
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
