my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize