You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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