Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
