there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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