pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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