Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
