He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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