I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
