We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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