there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
