At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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