My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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