I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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