I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
