You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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