Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
