im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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