At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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