Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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