Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
