I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize