Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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