Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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