she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
