Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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