Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
