god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
