Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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