Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
