If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
