if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
