a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
