One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize