Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
