I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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