My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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