i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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