I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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